Sunday, July 24, 2005

invisible heat and self-documentaries

I took a walk the other night at 2 am. It was 84 DEGREES, and weather.com said it felt like 91.

Isn't that ridiculous? Imagine what it was like during the DAY...especially b/c I can't describe it for you: I didn't venture out at all during the day.

Who needs a durned oven when you've got St. Louis in July? All you have to do is give up cooking 11 months out of the year...and visit St. Louis for a month if you don't live there.

In February of 2004, my good friend Todd came up with the idea of making some kind of documentary about me and the music. I've talked about this here.

What kind of documentary? How long, etc.? Don't know, but it seems to me that if I'm serious about it, I could get a camera and just shoot for as long as it seems necessary, and then, when the time seems right, start editing it.

Why? Well, good question. Todd was thinking more in promotional terms, I think, when he brought the idea to me. I'm thinking in more artistic terms, which I know must come as a great shock. [hardeharhar] However, I don't think Todd was thinking stricly in terms of promotion. He had some artistic thoughts about it as well.

I want to do it for the sake of making something interesting and worthwhile. I mean, I'd love to not only see on-the-scene documentaries of all of the people I take some type of interest in, but to see those people take some part in the MAKING of those documentaries. It would be personal, and certainly quite enlightening.

I have some ideas about deviating from the standard documentary in some ways...

Also, think about how great it would be if you could make a long-term documentary of yourself or someone else. One year? Two? Three? Five? How interesting and fun would it be to have a film that not only documents part of your life, but does so in the way that YOU see fit?

So I've started doing a little research on cameras. A rather tedious process. Todd definitely knows more about cameras then I do, and I'll try to call him later today about that. I've got my eye on one camera in particular at the moment, but that could change for a variety of reasons.

I think I'm going to take a walk. It's 1:45am. Another one of those good ol' St. Louis phantom sun walks.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Deenie

My mother is the 3rd of 17 children. Yes, that's a lot, all by the same mother and father in Nashville. Most of the children, now grown, are still there, along with most of THEIR children, and even some children's children.

So, you see, I have many many many relatives. Many aunts, uncles, and, most prominently, cousins. Many many MANY cousins!

I have a lot of fond memories about our trips to Nashville. Among them is when I was around 12 years old and I was running around my grandmother's house looking for someone to play "War" with. You know, the card game. The simplest and most childish of all card games. This was why I couldn't get anyone to play with me.

My cousin, Deenie, at the time around 18 or 19, agreed to play with me. Even though she must not have wanted to play, she focused entirely on me and wanted me to have fun. Very similar to when a parent does something with their child that they don't want to do, but they care much more about the child having fun.

When she got a relatively high card, she'd say "I hope you can come to my card party." But when she got a very high card, she'd say "Welcome to my card party!"

That experience with Deenie has stuck with me, and I've thought about it often over the years. For her to stand out in my memory among so many wonderful people in that family says a lot about her.

Deenie was murdered on July 2nd by an ex-boyfriend. He's been captured, has been charged with Murder One, and is being held without bail. His trial is scheduled to begin in early 2007.

Deenie leaves behind six children, some with fathers, some without. Fortunately, all of them are surrounded by the biggest, most loving, most close-knit family you've ever seen.

We love you, Deenie. We know that you are in a state of joy and peace that none of us can yet fathom, and that you can see the Big Picture better than all of us now.

It must be something to see.

Funny, isn't it?


Love,

Kenny

A LOT TO WRITE ABOUT.

Just thought I'd firmly establish that upfront.

Well, here I am. It's 3am, and I'm in the computer lab watching old British PSAs and commercials.

Yes. Not just old PSAs and commercials. British PSAs and commercials.

It's part of a site I stumbled on a couple months ago: http://www.tv-ark.org.uk. I find myself very entertained by it. I actually really enjoy this stuff. Why? I don't rightly know.

Other than that, it's been my first quiet week since the concert. You see, the concert was enough work for me to take a month off. I actually thought I had three solid weeks of rest before Opera Theatre started up. But, as fate would have it, my responsibilites were different, and greater, than were originally planned, and I snuck in about a week and a half of relative rest before I found myself back at the Opera for the third year, in my third different job.

And, it was pretty difficult. Fortunately, I was friends with my boss, which was good, but rarely did I know what I'd be asked to do on a given day, and at times I wouldn't be given particularly adequate instructions on how to do it. For me, having a littany of directions read off to you the second you have to go perform a task, the same second you've learned you even HAD a task, is very disconcerting. But, that's just the nature of the job. I could go on for longer, but I won't. Goods and not-so-goods, like most jobs.

My last day was Thursday, June 30th. That Saturday, we learned about Deenie's passing in Nashville. We were already planning on driving to Champaign to pick up my brother, Matt, and then to Washington DC for the wedding of another of my cousins. But the funeral was right before the wedding.

So, last Tuesday, we drove to Champaign from St. Louis, picked up my brother [a three hour trip], drove to Nashville from Champaign [a 5-hour trip]. Stayed in Nashville from Tuesday night to Thursday morning.

Left for DC Thursday morning, got there late Thursday night. Stayed there until Saturday morning. Drove from DC to outside of Indianapolis, stayed there overnight [to cut the trip back in to manageable halves], drove to Champaign, dropped off my brother, and then, back to St. Louis.

Funeral: I'm not sure you can know true grief without experiencing something comprable. Wedding: fun.

Around 2,000 miles, and probably 28 hours of rest on the average for the entire trip for everyone. Phew. I enjoy traveling, though, in spite of the various stressers, and it's always great to meet up with the family. So, since I've been back, I've read "The Secret Man", watched movies, listened to music, written some music, etc.

There's a LOT in the pipeline that I'll have to write about later. Remember that album thing I was talking about?? Well, there's that, and much more. Hope all is well!