whew!

So the big concert is less than two months away now, and I'd really like to have about half of the program to consist of new pieces.

So, since Saturday, I think, I've been just turning on the tape recorder and playing, and I've been coming up with a lot of promising ideas.

In fact, I just came back from doing that. It's pretty exhilirating, to be honest.

One of the most challenging things about composing is that the ideas REALLY DO seem to come when you least expect it sometimes, or when you're ready to get up and go do something else.

I think it was Sunday morning, I had the tape recorder on, and I was messing around, getting nowhere, and right when I was ready to stop and get up, I started playing something interesting. RIGHT then. It's funny, but it also challenges you to not give up so easily.

A lot of people talk about 'not getting in your own way' when it comes to composing or writing or whatever kind of communicating. I really believe that. There's a pretty big wall of 'self' that's blocking the inspiration, um, drywaller [?], from getting through. Now, that wall is IMPORTANT, because it helps to hold together the house that is you. But, when you're trying to make something new, that wall needs to be cut through somehow, worked around, but, NOt torn down, b/c you need the wall to support the house.

Well, that's a pretty convoluted statement, no thought time whatsoever, but I guess you see what I mean.

I have a piece making the rounds [that's turning into my slang for 'promising new, unfinished piece'] that I might call "Our Dance of Ambivalence". It seems to be about that tortured, unspoken mutual crush thing. Maybe you've been there, too. We'll see if it makes it in time for the concert.

There's a few others, which is good. If I can keep up the output over these next crucial couple of weeks, I'll be in good shape.